I came home from yet another speaking engagement Sunday night feeling pretty good. The talk had gone well, and the youth staff had invited me out to a pub afterwards to talk more. I was very tired since I had taught Sunday School that day, and then spent the afternoon at a picnic with the youth group from my church. As I pulled into the underground parking of my apartment building, I was feeling tired but content. I had spent the day doing what I love doing most. I fumbled with my keys to open the door from the garage into the main building and made my way to the elevator and pushed the button, knowing it would probably take forever for the machine to recognize my request and send an elevator down to the basement. As I stood there waiting my eyes wandered around the room as it always does when the boredom of waiting for the elevator sets in.
And then I saw it: a new piece of graffiti carved into the deep brown bricks of the hallway. In the midst the familiar etchings declaring eternal love between various youth of the building, in big ugly letters were two new words: KILL FAGS.
My stomach dropped, my muscles tightened and I could feel that old familiar dread grip the core of me. It was like I was back in high school again, wondering if someone had found out about me. Afraid of losing my home, losing my friends, getting beat up again.
I took a deep breath and exhaling began a centering prayer that I had been taught years ago by my spiritual director. I forced myself to remember who I am: I am a child of God. I am part of the body of Christ. I will NOT wear that name anymore.
I grabbed my keys and began to vigorously rub it against the offending words. I applied all my strength to it and the scratches I made began to cover over the hateful words. I stepped back and looked at my handiwork. It was now impossible to read the hateful words under all the other scratches I had made.
But I knew what was under there.
The elevator finally arrived and I got in and punched the button for my floor. As it began its ascent I slumped against the wall and fought back tears. I felt so very tired. I wondered about putting in a work order to have the wall repainted or something. But the thought of having to explain to the landlords...just left me feeling exhausted beyond words. Did I really want to make a big deal of this?
It was probably just some stupid kids.
The elevator lurched to a halt and I stepped out on my floor and used the key I had so recently applied to the wall to open the door to my apartment. Inside my wife was already fast asleep. I dumped my bags on the floor and collapsed on my sofa. Tears began to roll down my cheeks as I took up an old lament.
"How long oh Lord? How long?"
How long will hatred rule men's hearts.
How long will children grow up in fear?
How long will the wounds I thought finally healed be torn open yet again?
I had been struggling for days with a deep weariness. Sometimes I get tired of the overwhelming ugliness of the hate that this issue seems to engender in others. I am frustrated by the teens I can not protect, the damage I can not undo, and the fact that while words scratched in walls can be covered over the ones carved in some hearts are never fully removed. What does one do in response to such naked hatred?
But in this time I feel the Spirit with me, comforting me and reminding me that Jesus too was hated. I am not alone. And slowly, ever so slowly my heart begins to turn. I remember that the only response to hatred is to love, and I pray for whoever carved those words. I wonder what experiences have twisted them so that they would do such a thing and pray for God's grace in their lives. I remember that the only response to ignorance is truth, and as I take a day of rest I gather strength to go out this weekend and share my story once again. In the face of such ugliness I remembered the weekend before: watching 2,000 young Christians standing together after I shared my story cheering for me and declaring together that they wanted their generation to be the one that changed the legacy of homophobia that Christianity has long embraced.
Hatred may carve words on walls and hearts, but it is not the last word.
God's Word is alive and active. It is bringing change. It will not be stopped.
And with that hope held in my heart I put the words on the wall out of mind and I am able to sleep.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Letting God Work
I'm really grateful that Ron Belgau was one of the contributors for "Bridging the Gap: Conversations on Befriending Our Gay Neighbours."
Ron is a thoughtful and mature follower of Christ who also happens to be gay. He is someone with deep convictions - that some of our readers will share, and others will disagree with. What stands out about Ron for me, is that he is someone with deeply held traditional views and yet he engages with a great openness, love and care for his gay friends who have come to different theological perspectives than he has. Ron really seeks to stay in step with the Holy Spirit - not wanting to be like a pharisee in people's lives but wanting to be open to follow the Spirit's prompting.
I hope that Ron's connections in the Catholic community will open some doors for the BTG dvd being useful in that part of the Body of Christ.
Check out this clip:
Ron is a thoughtful and mature follower of Christ who also happens to be gay. He is someone with deep convictions - that some of our readers will share, and others will disagree with. What stands out about Ron for me, is that he is someone with deeply held traditional views and yet he engages with a great openness, love and care for his gay friends who have come to different theological perspectives than he has. Ron really seeks to stay in step with the Holy Spirit - not wanting to be like a pharisee in people's lives but wanting to be open to follow the Spirit's prompting.
I hope that Ron's connections in the Catholic community will open some doors for the BTG dvd being useful in that part of the Body of Christ.
Check out this clip:
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Announcing the BTG Synchroblog!!!
The culture wars surrounding the topic of homosexuality have sucked up tremendous resources, have left devastated casualties in their wake, and continue to perpetuate polarization and enmity – most clearly seen in the divide between the Christian community and the gay community. The diversity and divisiveness surrounding gay issues is staggering. Even the above statement needs to be unpacked. The sense of polarization is not simply between the Christian community and the gay community as if both of those communities were completely monolithic and mutually exclusive. Rather, we see fractures within the Christian community and disagreements within the gay community. In the midst of this wasteland are gay Christians – a diverse group of people too – who often find very little safe harbour on either side of the divide.
The intensity of this divide is ratcheted up several notches during annual Pride weeks. We’ve all seen the photos of the attempted Christian messages at Pride events. Placards and signs and megaphones. And many of us are grieved. Many of us disconnect and say, “That doesn’t represent the Jesus I know. That doesn’t represent me.”
We want to invite you to join us in a synchro-blog on the Wednesday of Pride week, June 24, to speak up and speak out of your heart to address this terrible divide.
New Direction has been seeking to foster safe and generous space for authentic conversation about faith and sexuality. We have committed ourselves to building bridges. But we cannot do it alone. We need other Christ-followers: gay and straight and everything in between, to speak up and join the conversation, to share the heart of the gospel in the midst of this conflict. We need those beyond the walls of the church: gay and straight and everything in between, to speak up and join the conversation, to share their thoughts on how the church can reach across the divide and build bridges.
If you've seen our DVD resource called, “Bridging the Gap: Conversations on Befriending Our Gay Neighbours” and would like to offer a review that day - that would be great. If you'd simply like to offer your own thoughts on what is needed to break down the dividing walls that continue to wound, alienate and obscure the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ - that is great too. And for those who read this blog who do not identify as Christian - please consider participating! Those of us who do identify as Christian need to hear your perspectives. We need to listen to and learn from each other.
So please, spread share this invitation with others you think would have a thoughtful contribution to make!
Our prayer is that this synchro-blog would model an opportunity for multiple conversations, from multiple perspectives, with a commitment to hear one another with grace, humility and respect.
Tony Campolo says, “I hope that you do much good in building the bridges between conflicting parties on a controversial issue that is destroying the church of Jesus Christ today. What you are doing is of vital importance. My prayers are with you.”
Greg Paul says, “Trying to bring together two groups of people who really don't want to like each other isn't easy. Try to imagine building a bridge across a turbulent river, in the midst of a raging battle - with both sides shooting at you... Such radical reconciliation efforts come only at a cost, but so does the Gospel itself. New Direction, many years ago, was one of those Christian organizations that gay, lesbian and transgendered people loved to hate. In the intervening years, it has become one of the few true bridge builders between evangelical Christians and the gay community.”
For more information & to sign up to participate in our synchro-blog email:
wendy@newdirection.ca
I look forward to engaging your thoughts and contributions on June 24!
The intensity of this divide is ratcheted up several notches during annual Pride weeks. We’ve all seen the photos of the attempted Christian messages at Pride events. Placards and signs and megaphones. And many of us are grieved. Many of us disconnect and say, “That doesn’t represent the Jesus I know. That doesn’t represent me.”
We want to invite you to join us in a synchro-blog on the Wednesday of Pride week, June 24, to speak up and speak out of your heart to address this terrible divide.
New Direction has been seeking to foster safe and generous space for authentic conversation about faith and sexuality. We have committed ourselves to building bridges. But we cannot do it alone. We need other Christ-followers: gay and straight and everything in between, to speak up and join the conversation, to share the heart of the gospel in the midst of this conflict. We need those beyond the walls of the church: gay and straight and everything in between, to speak up and join the conversation, to share their thoughts on how the church can reach across the divide and build bridges.
If you've seen our DVD resource called, “Bridging the Gap: Conversations on Befriending Our Gay Neighbours” and would like to offer a review that day - that would be great. If you'd simply like to offer your own thoughts on what is needed to break down the dividing walls that continue to wound, alienate and obscure the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ - that is great too. And for those who read this blog who do not identify as Christian - please consider participating! Those of us who do identify as Christian need to hear your perspectives. We need to listen to and learn from each other.
So please, spread share this invitation with others you think would have a thoughtful contribution to make!
Our prayer is that this synchro-blog would model an opportunity for multiple conversations, from multiple perspectives, with a commitment to hear one another with grace, humility and respect.
Tony Campolo says, “I hope that you do much good in building the bridges between conflicting parties on a controversial issue that is destroying the church of Jesus Christ today. What you are doing is of vital importance. My prayers are with you.”
Greg Paul says, “Trying to bring together two groups of people who really don't want to like each other isn't easy. Try to imagine building a bridge across a turbulent river, in the midst of a raging battle - with both sides shooting at you... Such radical reconciliation efforts come only at a cost, but so does the Gospel itself. New Direction, many years ago, was one of those Christian organizations that gay, lesbian and transgendered people loved to hate. In the intervening years, it has become one of the few true bridge builders between evangelical Christians and the gay community.”
For more information & to sign up to participate in our synchro-blog email:
wendy@newdirection.ca
I look forward to engaging your thoughts and contributions on June 24!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Tony Campolo on Demonstrating Love
We hear it all the time, don't we?
"I love homosexuals ..... but....."
"I love gay people ..... but ...."
How is it that Christians truly demonstrate this love?
Tony Campolo challenges that "but" in unequivocal terms. Check out this clip:
What questions does this raise for you?
"I love homosexuals ..... but....."
"I love gay people ..... but ...."
How is it that Christians truly demonstrate this love?
Tony Campolo challenges that "but" in unequivocal terms. Check out this clip:
What questions does this raise for you?
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Milk
Well I finally got to see the movie, “Milk” last night. It was with an eclectic group of straight and gay, Christian and not. And after the movie we had some good conversation together.
For those of you not familiar with the movie, the basic story is that of Harvey Milk the first openly gay individual to be elected to public office as Supervisor in the Castro district of San Francisco in the late 1970’s. The context in which Harvey pursued a place in public office was the repeal of anti-discrimination laws on the basis of sexual orientation. In particular, these efforts were publicly endorsed and advanced by evangelical Christian Anita Bryant among others.
I had many conflicting emotions as I watched the film.
I could not help but lament the reminder of the toxic combination of fear and power – and the past and present demonstrations of how Christians capitulate to these drivers and motivators.
I could not help but feel deep concern and outrage for the replay of the kinds of events and experiences in Milk’s time with the current events in places like Uganda.
Fear is too dominant.
Playing on stereotypes and assumptions and mischaracterizations sadly continues.
Demanding with a sense of righteous entitlement to have it ‘your way’ has not given way to humility.
I’ll never be a politician. I’m not an activist. I know the issues are complex ~ and I don’t pretend to offer simplistic answers to the dilemmas of power in a pluralistic context.
But I do see the example of Jesus. I do see the Lord of the Universe empty himself, take the role of a servant, choose love over fear, and promote justice.
Regardless of what you believe theologically about homosexual behaviour, we should imitate Christ’s example as we engage a film like “Milk”, as we consider today’s propositions and legislative issues, and as we look at global justice for glbtq people.
Humble ourselves. Serve. Choose love over fear. And promote justice.
Harvey Milk was an imperfect man. But as Dianne Feinstein has said, "His homosexuality gave him an insight into the scars which all oppressed people wear. He believed that no sacrifice was too great a price to pay for the cause of human rights.”
One poignant line for me in the movie was when Harvey passionately corrects a political colleague and says, “It’s more than an issue – it’s our lives we’re fighting for.” Harvey, it seemed, tried to focus on the real lives of people – including and especially his constituents who were gay. It seems he remembered that this is primarily about people not just power.
Might those who name the name of Jesus remember this too.
For those of you not familiar with the movie, the basic story is that of Harvey Milk the first openly gay individual to be elected to public office as Supervisor in the Castro district of San Francisco in the late 1970’s. The context in which Harvey pursued a place in public office was the repeal of anti-discrimination laws on the basis of sexual orientation. In particular, these efforts were publicly endorsed and advanced by evangelical Christian Anita Bryant among others.
I had many conflicting emotions as I watched the film.
I could not help but lament the reminder of the toxic combination of fear and power – and the past and present demonstrations of how Christians capitulate to these drivers and motivators.
I could not help but feel deep concern and outrage for the replay of the kinds of events and experiences in Milk’s time with the current events in places like Uganda.
Fear is too dominant.
Playing on stereotypes and assumptions and mischaracterizations sadly continues.
Demanding with a sense of righteous entitlement to have it ‘your way’ has not given way to humility.
I’ll never be a politician. I’m not an activist. I know the issues are complex ~ and I don’t pretend to offer simplistic answers to the dilemmas of power in a pluralistic context.
But I do see the example of Jesus. I do see the Lord of the Universe empty himself, take the role of a servant, choose love over fear, and promote justice.
Regardless of what you believe theologically about homosexual behaviour, we should imitate Christ’s example as we engage a film like “Milk”, as we consider today’s propositions and legislative issues, and as we look at global justice for glbtq people.
Humble ourselves. Serve. Choose love over fear. And promote justice.
Harvey Milk was an imperfect man. But as Dianne Feinstein has said, "His homosexuality gave him an insight into the scars which all oppressed people wear. He believed that no sacrifice was too great a price to pay for the cause of human rights.”
One poignant line for me in the movie was when Harvey passionately corrects a political colleague and says, “It’s more than an issue – it’s our lives we’re fighting for.” Harvey, it seemed, tried to focus on the real lives of people – including and especially his constituents who were gay. It seems he remembered that this is primarily about people not just power.
Might those who name the name of Jesus remember this too.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
