the meaning of being “missional”

Yesterday over 50 bloggers banded together to do a synchro-blog on the meaning of being “missional”. The synchro-blog was at the instigation of Rick Meigs at blindbeggar.org with the intention of reclaiming the term missional. It seems many have feared missional was becoming unclear in its meaning. This is a bit of a late addition to the conversation.

As I read the blogs involved in the dialog on the meaning of the word “missional” and the abuses of the label, one quote by Rick stuck out to me:

Let us be very clear about what it is not first. It is NOT a method, model, style, agenda, program, or even an exhaustive theology. Missional is a stance, a way of thinking, a lifestyle.

I like the description that missional is a stance, or a lifestyle. It helps explain why I would be uncomfortable describing the “Bridging the Gap” resource as being missional. “Bridiging the Gap” as a small group DVD resource is a tool, not a person. I think much of the confusion that surrounds the word “missional” has come from the desire to use it as a marketing tag. It can be tempting to use such tags as a short form, a way to get people’s attention and let them know “You are going to like this product because we care about the same things you do!”

But products are not missional, people are. Both Wendy and I, and many others working hard on this project, would all identify ourselves as attempting to adopt a missional stance. (If you would to know more on what that means please read more of Rick’s blog) And we hope that this project will reflect that stance that we are trying to live out in our lives, in our relationships and in our conversations – including the conversations on this blog. I know this project was born out of our personal journeys as we have attempted to follow God and what He was already doing among our gay neighbours. I also hope and pray that this resource will help others as they attempt to assume a missional stance in their own lives towards the gay and lesbian people in their circle of influence.

By calling a resource missional, I fear that we could reinforce the trend of using important theological words as marketing, and participate in the consumer idea that has infiltrated even Christian thinking in our culture. The idea that what we consume defines who we are, and so if I use missional products, or go to a missional church or missional conference, then I am a missional person.

So as tempting as it might be to use tags to get our resource product into the hands of many people, we hope to avoid that trap. In the end, our small group resource is meant to be both a model and a catalyst – and people will need to think for themselves and determine if they will adopt a missional stance in their every day lives and their every day encounters with the gay and lesbian people around them.

As important as ideas are – even missional ideas – they really won’t account for much until we actually live as missional people. “Bridging the Gap” is simply meant to be a catalyst and an encouragement to real people, living real lives, engaging real neighbours from a missional stance.

-Brian Pengelly

Risk Engaging the Conversation

The Windy City Times recently report on a meeting between members of SoulForce and Bill Hybels and others from Willow Creek Church. For those of you who may not be familiar with SoulForce, they are a national civil-rights and social-justice organization seeking freedom for LGBT people from religious and political oppression. SoulForce, in an initiative called “American Family Outing”, have been visiting mega-churches in the U.S. including: Joel Osteen and Lakewood Church in Houston, The Potter's House (Bishop T.D. Jakes – Senior Pastor) in Dallas, Bishop Harry Jackson and Hope Christian Church outside Washington, D.C., Bishop Eddie Long and New Birth Missionary Baptist Church near Atlanta, Bill Hybels and Willow Creek Community Church near Chicago, and Rick Warren and Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California. The purpose of these visits is to share “the power of love, commitment and dedication” of lgbt families with these influential church communities.

Of their visit to Willow Creek, SoulForce Executive Director, Jeff Lutes, said, “This was about making connections—person-to-person and family-to-family—and I think we did that. I respect Willow Creek for having the courage and the willingness to really have a meaningful conversation about this. You can't really have honest, healthy conversation with somebody that you don't know or trust or you might fear just because they're unknown.”

The power of conversations. The power of personal connection. The power of relational engagement. I couldn’t agree more.

Lutes went on to say that he asked Bill Hybels if he would take up the challenge of speaking out more clearly on behalf of lgbt people. He said, “Even though there’s still distance between that position and our totally gay-affirming position, there’s still a lot he could do in terms of leadership on things that would create a lot more safety and protection for our community.”

That reminded me of an exchange Michael Bussee, a gay Christian, and I had on Throckmorton’s blog:

Michael: Here’s my point. Although we may disgree on the science and endlessly debate other aspects of the “gay issue”, at the very heart of this entire discussion is the basic theological question — “will unrepentant gays inheriit the kingdom of God”? Some say yes and some say no. This is the great divide. How can we “build bridges” over such a gap? Perhaps we can agree that God loves us all. Pehaps we can agree that only God makes the final judgement. Perhaps we can agree that gays should not be mistreated, beaten or killed. But that may be all.

Wendy: In some corners of the Christian community this would be a huge leap forward don’t you think? It may be only a ’start’…. but if we bridged that gap just maybe hearts would be softened and much more open to the ongoing whisper of the Spirit as we engage in authentic friendships. That is my prayer.

Michael: Wendy; You asked: “In some corners of the Christian community this would be a huge leap forward don’t you think?” Yup, it would be.

In the Windy Times article, both Jay Bakker and another SoulForce member refer to their hope that the gap between Willow Creek (calling same-gender attracted people to live chaste lives) and SoulForce (fully affirming of gay marriage) would eventually disappear.

It begs the question, “Is that the only option to have any Christ-like impact on the reality of same-gender attracted people?”

At New Direction we’re trying to forge a new way forward.
We do hope to be part of dismantling the sense of enmity that so often resides between lgbt people and the church.
We do hope to be part of dismantling attitudes and actions that demean and hurt and alienate lgbt people.
We hope to challenge the church to be a safer place for those who wrestle, question, or embrace diverse sexual identities.
We hope the church will become much more courageous and innovative in honouring single people, in creating space for intimate community and relationships, and in nurturing a sense of family and belonging for all people.
And we hope that Christ-followers, like Bill Hybels, will enter the conversation, to take the time to listen and relate with their gay neighbours.

That means taking risks. Risking challenging the status quo. Risking being misunderstood, judged and/or written off.

But real people are worth it – more than worth it.

Lutes expressed that he “respected Willow Creek for having the courage and the willingness to really have a meaningful conversation”

I do too.

Since SoulForce expressed some concern over some of the ministry resources that Willow Creek had on their website for those dealing with same-gender attraction, I’d like to offer New Direction’s resources to Willow Creek.

I know we’re not where SoulForce would like us to be – we don’t fully affirm gay marriage. Rather, it seems that Willow Creek and New Direction are at a similar place theologically as we continue to look to the creation account in Genesis and see in the complementarity of male and female that God created an ongoing imperative for boundaries in sexual relationships.

But I do hope that we are embodying a fresh courage, relational perspective, open willingness to engage and commitment to justice that will “create more safety and protection” for lgbt people.

In that safe place, might same-gender attracted people know that they are deeply loved by God and invited to experience fullness of life in relationship with Him.



(hat tip: www.exgaywatch.com)

A Living Apology

Fellow blogger and contact with the ministry, Kent Frost, recently posted on Canadian Prime Minister, Stephen Harper's public apology for the government's role in the residential school system. Portions of Harper's apology can be read here.

Kent has given permission to reprint his post: The Apology, The Pain

"Last week in Canada we saw clearly the the emotion that comes when we make apologies for crimes against others in the name of religion.

"Today is a crucial part of our journey" was one of the comments that struck me. Many did not live long enough to hear the apology was another key comment.

I can relate to this as I struggled to listen to the news clips of the treatment of the native Indian children. There are so many more apologies required not just from the government but from the church.

On the issue of residential schools they have come a long way, now it is time to begin to reconcile with the Gay and Lesbian community worldwide. It is time for the church, all denominations to begin to dialogue and build their relationship with this abused group within society.

I spoke recently with a Pastor who agreed but was concerned the churches (mainly evangelical) would get sued and wondered aloud if that was fair. Was the hatred fair? Was the punishment and justification for poor behavior fair? Often people used the church's hatred as their excuse for murder and other actions even if they, themselves, were not Christians.

Millions have died condemned by Pastors around the world for being homosexual and even worse for having HIV/AIDS. "God hates fags" became the mantra for a generation and that hatred remains a stronghold for the LGBT community to this day.

In Canada we heard a public apology for a wrong committed and as a result heard testimony from those who said, "finally the healing can begin".

I myself can speak first-hand about the abuses of the church. I can attest to making substantial donations but being forced to do so in secret without tax receipt because of my lifestyle. "We will take your money and gifts but not you. You will be treated with little or no respect." And that is just the beginning when it comes to the churches response to those who are different.

Recently I got an email from a Pastor's wife whose son is gay. The pain they are going through knowing that instead of love and compassion from their congregation they can expect judgment and condemnation of their child who a moment before his disclosure was the apple of the congregations eye so to speak, all of it gone in a heartbeat.

"I am sorry" releases people from bondage and strongholds. I have the power of those words. I have seen sadly first-hand what the lack of an apology can do in maintaining those strongholds a person suffers under because they believe what was done or said to them was deserved.

I stand today with the government of Canada with a certain sense of shame as a Canadian and a Christian for what we have done to the original founding peoples of this land."


I had also been pondering writing a post on Harper's public apology - which I applaud - and the need for the church to be much more responsive in offering public repentance. I well remember many conversations with fellow Christ-followers asking, "How do we repent of un-Christlike attitudes and actions towards the GLBT persons in a way that can be heard?" (None of us held the authority or influence of a position like the Prime Minister.) Often our conversations concluded with the notion that our repentance was best walked out through humble, loving service in the context of relationship with our gay neighbours.

Given that this blog and our small group resource project are intended to be a catalyst for precisely that kind of relational engagement, you could say that this blog is an attempt at a living apology.

Will you be my friend? by Brian Pengelly

I was riding the subway the other day, crammed like a human sardine during rush hour traffic. I was trying very hard to ignore the couple hundred other people squished uncomfortably close in the car with me when an attractive woman in her early twenties turned toward me and said “How are you doing today?” with a beaming white smile.

I almost didn’t hear her over the music playing in my I-pod, but blinking in surprise I pulled out my ear bud and smiled back. “Pretty good. How are you?” My mind started racing. I must confess that young attractive female strangers talking to me is not something that happens very often and so my mind began spinning. "Do I know her? Where from?"

We chit chatted for the next minute about the crowdedness, the weather, and such and I was starting to relax and enjoy the conversation.
Just as we pulled away from the station the conversation took a turn.

“You know I find it so comforting to know that in the uncertainties of life that I always have the teachings of the Prophet and the elders to guide me…”

My eyes flashed down and for the first time noticed a detail I had missed with her crowded so close. A name tag that declared her to be a part of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

And then it occurred to me. She wasn't interested in ME. She wasn’t talking to me because she wanted to be my friend. She wasn’t talking to me because of my good looks or charm, or out of any real interest in who I am.

Don’t you hate it when that happens?

Now think of your gay neighbour. Do you really want to be their friend? I have had many non-Christian friends tell me about the frustration of befriending Christians who seemed to deeply care about them until they realized that they weren’t interested in converting. You see being friends with someone isn’t about what you will get from them, or how you will change them…its about genuinely caring about them whether they change to be more like you or not.

There is a world of difference between being filled with God’s love so that we want to love others, including our gay neighbours, and an entirely different thing to be friendly toward people to get our way. One is what we are called to as Christians, the other is patronizing.

How NOT to be a good neighbour....

Ok.... so we got this email today through one of our other websites:

"I am a concerned nieghbor of a lesbian couple and wish to send them some info on how to become a christian and distance themselves from there unGodly life style they are currently leading. They are very unhappy people and we believe as a nieghborhood it is because of the homosexuality and no life with Christ. I dont want to push this on them but I would like you to send them some info about how you could help them."

Helpful tips for this concerned neighbour:

1. Find ways to connect with and serve your neighbours - mow their grass, bring them cookies, invite them for dinner

2. Be a listening ear - resist telling them what you think, instead, be a listening presence - you might be surprised by what you hear

3. Pray


In case anyone wonders why we think it is important to stimulate humble, discerning, incarnational conversations with Christians on how to befriend our gay neighbours .... this email is a pretty good indication of the need.

Creating a safer place....

Yesterday I spent a full day equipping pastors and leaders. Our goal is to help leaders think through how their church can be a safer place for all "limpers". It's always a draining day - for the participants and for me. Change takes a lot of energy. Dealing with mindsets, assumptions and fear is hard work. One pastor yesterday said, "You're stretching us!" To which I replied, "I'm being stretched too."

We like to have nice neat answers. Truth is, mission and ministry are messy. Grace is messy. Relationships, if they're worth their salt, are messy. So when we offer these seminars we let people know right upfront that we're not going to spoonfeed them simple answers - but that we're going to invite them to wrestle with real life situations that require tremendous humility, discernment and love to engage.

Yesterday, I cried in the seminar. I didn't expect to. But as I was sharing stories of the same-gender attracted and gay people I've had the privilege of coming to know, I was just overwhelmed with emotion. After six years of serving with New Direction I am more convinced than ever that the church is impoverished by the absence or the hiding of our same-gender attracted brothers and sisters. Of course, this sense of impoverishment will only be more fully realized as Christ-followers engage in meaningful friendships with their gay neighbours.

So let me give a quick shout-out to the pastors and leaders from yesterday's seminar - your open-heartedness was an encouragement, your willingness to tackle challenging case studies admirable, and your readiness to be stretched a sign of hopefulness as, together, we seek to create a safer place within the Christian community.

-WG

I'm the biggest limper

I often talk about my sense that part of what I've been called to do is to 'normalize' the experience of same-gender attraction within the Christian community. When you get to hang out with as many same-gender attracted and gay people as I get to, one has the opportunity to experience shared humanity, shared journeys, shared hopes and dreams - disappointments and griefs. When you do life together, you get to really see each other - the good, the bad and the ugly. And in this place of authenticity, love grows and brings freedom.

This side of heaven, we all walk with a limp. And I suppose, given our experiences, some of us have a more pronounced limp. But we're all limpers - limpers together.

Limping is a normal part of life. A normal part of the journey of faith. A normal part of following Jesus.

In limping we discover our need for Somone who is bigger, stronger, more able than we are. As we limp, we discover that we need others to walk with us. Not to patronize, nor to judge. Not to try to 'fix' MY limp (while ignoring their own). But simply to hang out and do life - perhaps along the way, more often than not, forgetting we're limping at all.

If we perpetuate the notion that experiencing confusion or questioning in your sexual identity is some BIG limp .... then we're setting people up to try their darn best to hide the limp .... because who would want to be the biggest limper?

But if we limp out in the open, and get in relationship with other limpers, then we're in a better place to accept, and at the appropriate times, test and explore the contours of dealing with a limp.

If I intend to befriend someone with a limp..... while steadfastly insisting that I don't have a limp, or deluding myself into thinking I've hidden my limp really well (when perceptive others can spot it anyway), I'm kidding myself.

What's your limp? How do you both accept it and submit it to the Lordship of Jesus?
How do you love yourself while limping?
How do you have hope in the limping?
How have you experienced grace in the limping?
How have you experienced redemption in your limping?

From one limper to another, I might suggest these are the questions you need to answer for yourself if you hope to be 'Jesus with skin on' in the life of another.

And if you think the experience of same-gender attraction is so 'other' .... so different than what you can identify with .... think again.

Heads up for the next post: Some of my gay friends would disagree with this whole concept of 'limping'..... they're so tired of being labelled as 'broken'...... I'll try to address these concerns and critique in the next post ......

-WG

Freedom in Friendships

I was hanging out with some artists and thinkers and risk-takers the other night. And as it often happens when people learn that I serve through New Direction, folks began to share with me about their gay friends.
Seems these days that more often than not, Christ-followers have gay friends. This is a good thing. This is a great thing. What is not so great is that we Christians seem to struggle so much with how to navigate these friendships.
The conversations the other night were alive and vibrant. I heard people speak of how their gay friends were so different from one another .... (seems to punch holes in the old stand-by term, "gay lifestyle"). They shared about straining to listen to the whisper of the Spirit as they sipped Starbucks with their friends. They spoke of a deep, deep desire for these friends, whom they have come to love, to know God ~ and of their struggle to nurture and facilitate a God-connection rather than impede that. And they spoke of emerging into a kind of robust love that rests in God while feeling free to enjoy and delight in their gay friends - just as they are.

The conversations seemed to sing with the life-giving presence of Jesus.

"Because of the sacrifice of the Messiah, his blood poured out on the altar of the Cross, we're a free people - free of penalties and punishments chalked up by all our misdeeds. And not just barely free, either. Abundantly free!" Eph. 1:7

Oh Lord ~ you exist in relationship and you have formed us for relationship. Pour your relational delight into our friendships. Might our times of connection sing with the Life of Jesus. Help us to rest in the freedom of trusting you with our loved ones. Show up. Be Glorified. Amen.

-WG

Introducing BTG

New Direction is committed to bridging the gap to gay people with the good news of the gospel through a primary focus on relational engagement. This project resonates with the desire to be a catalyst within the Christian community for creative and courageous conversations on matters of sexuality. Such conversations are a way to encourage and equip Christ-followers to build meaningful relationships with gay people.

As small groups engage with stories of real people wrestling with their faith and their sexuality and hear leaders share insights for mission in today's context, they will be prepared to consider opportunities for missional engagement with those holding diverse perspectives on sexual ethics.

In producing culturally-relevant, relationally focused resources, we hope to play a constructive role in empowering Christ-followers to represent a vibrant Christian faith in a cynical, yet spiritually hungry world. We also hope to participate in dismantling an exclusionary, unloving and often misinformed mindset towards those questioning or embracing alternative sexual identities within the Christian community. All of this works towards contributing to rebuilding the credibility of the Christian community in our society and to the strengthening of the Christian witness in a post-modern, relativistic context.