On my way to St. Louis to speak at the Urbana Student Missions conference, I had the opportunity to re-read Jean Vanier’s book, “Finding Peace”. If you haven’t read this little gem – go get it and read it! In its pages I was again inspired, revitalized and focused to continue our bridge-building work as an expression of the peace-making heart of God.
Vanier says, “The world is divided into many thousands of more or less hermetically closed groups. If each group is sure that it is better than others, how can peace ever come? It is difficult to dialogue with others if we cling arrogantly to the idea that we are right or that our power and technology are a sign of our humanity and goodness. Walls and barriers exist between people because of language, but also because of fear – each group fearful of those who are different, fearful of losing its identity. People resist opening up to others. Aren’t we all in one way or another enclosed in a secure group, in our culture, our religion, our family, our network of friends? Family and different types of groups are needed for human growth, but when they become sealed they engender rivalry, conflict, elitism.” (p. 16 emphasis mine)
Last night I heard Oscar Muriu from Kenya speak at Urbana. He spoke about the incarnation and the movements that Christ embodied in this choice to enter our world vulnerably as a newborn child. The movements from pride to humility, from power to powerlessness, from position to poverty (and he had one more which I’m not recalling) are the incarnational postures to which we are called as those who seek to nurture shalom. Here was a passionate African leader challenging 16,000 students to lead the way through vibrant expressions of incarnational mission, to extend grace to the generation before them who made lots of mistakes but who did the best they knew how in obedience and faithfulness to Christ, and to lead by forging a new and radical path that refuses the way of empire, colonialism, power and money. How grateful I was, how hopeful I was to think about partnership and engagement with our African brothers and sisters who embrace and embody such incarnational paradigms.
I continue to have many questions about how to best engage the situation in Uganda. I am keenly aware of our tragic legacy of colonialism and the danger of imposing western culture into their unique context. One of my deepest personal core values is to not be patronizing in my engagement with others – but to extend honour and respect by experiencing mutuality with the expectation that there will always be opportunity to learn even as there is opportunity to offer personal experience. And I am concerned that I not speak into a global situation (of which I would be the first to say I have no first-hand experience) with an unconscious yet arrogant presumption. At the same time, have we not learned some things in the 40 plus years since Stonewall? Are there not some things that can and ought to be offered and shared in both a spirit of humility and the conviction of valuing the image of God and the belovedness of each glbt person?
As I have continued to ponder and pray, I continue to return to this idea that seems to be generating powerful fear behind the Ugandan legislation and broader misconceptions about glbt people. It is this idea that gay people are recruiting “our children”. It seems to me that this is one of the core drivers behind the perpetuation and justification of devaluing the lives of same-sex oriented individuals in not only Uganda, but many parts of the world.
As a mom, I well know, that if you want to see me turn from a meek & mild, gentle & nice woman to a ferocious mama bear in 3 seconds flat – then just threaten my children. The gloves are off, I don’t care who you are – I’ll take you out. If I am honest, I may not take the necessary time to investigate if the threat is real or fabricated – because in that moment all I care about is protecting my babies. And if I don’t have access to reliable information about the perceived threat, then I will likely be incapable of making clear decisions consistent with the universal core value of treating others as I would want to be treated. All of that goes out the window in light of my gut level passion to protect my children.
And it is this kind of fear-inducing, manipulation (often promoted in the name of Christ) to which I feel I must speak. I must speak because this whole notion of widespread recruiting of children by average gay people is not true. And because stirring up fear that turns one human being against another is completely inconsistent with the way of Jesus – who chose incarnation: humility, powerlessness & poverty.
It is a sad reality of human sexuality that older adults seduce the young. This is indisputable. But this is not a gay issue – this is a human issue.
And it is a tragic reality that sexual abuse can cause tremendous woundedness and confusion in victims. But it is not accurate to insinuate that all gay people should be viewed as offenders until proven innocent – anymore than it would be to insinuate that all straight people should be viewed as offenders until proven innocent.
And it is not accurate to insinuate that homosexuality can somehow be “caught”, that it will “spread”, or that extending dignity and respect to our gay neighbours will increase the prevalence of homosexuality among our youth. The question of causation is complex and currently inconclusive. So while there seems to be a unique combination of both nature and nurture factors impacting different people to different degrees, what we do know is that a homosexual orientation is not something chosen or simply adopted. (And really, given the climate in Uganda towards gay people – who in their right mind would choose that?)
The reality of an increase in same-sex sexual experimentation, particularly in our western context, is, in my opinion, an alarming one. In my understanding, it is alarming because it fosters an unhealthy promiscuity for which young people seem to be often oblivious to long-term consequences including the potential of confusion in one's experience of sexual identity. But such experimentation, I would suggest, is far more the result of our own consumeristic, lust-oriented, celebrity-fixated, individualistic culture than it is the fruit of extending fair and just treatment and hospitality to our gay neighbours.
So, as someone in the west who desires to humbly acknowledge that I do not fully understand all the complex cultural realities influencing attitudes about homosexuality in a context like Uganda, I do wish, as a follower of Jesus Christ who in serving gay people has experienced much heart change, to offer such distinctions on these matters as they impact our children.
It may be that you continue, on the basis of Scripture, to hold a theological perspective that homosexual behaviour is inconsistent with God’s guidelines for human sexuality. If you hold such convictions may it be not from fear, misinformation, or prejudice – but from prayerful, humble wrestling with Scripture. But let us, who name the name of Jesus, recognize that such conviction about God-honouring behaviour cannot negate the truth of God’s love for our gay neighbours and our responsibility as his followers to challenge fear-inducing misinformation that would oppress or marginalize.
Vanier: “This passage, this crossing over the barricades that separate cultures and religions, is not a rejection of one’s own faith, tradition, and culture, but rather a fulfillment of them. Faith, religion, and culture find their deepest meaning as they become a way to permit us to be bonded to God, the God of love and compassion, which give us the strength, the courage, and the wisdom to meet others who are different as persons. We can only become peacemakers if we believe that every person – whatever their culture, religion, values, abilities or disabilities – is important and precious to God and if we seek to open our hearts to them. Such encounters between people are deep, wonderful moments that seem to transcend time and space, religion and culture. They bring people together to a place of trust and mutual respect as they listen to one another and their sacred stories, not from the place of their own certitudes and ideologies, but from the place of inner silence. They imply a fundamental equality: no one person is superior to another. As we enter into this relationship together, we are opening our hearts to one another and somehow losing some of the things we want to possess in order to feel superior and to have power. Walls that separate culture, religion, social status, and people start to weaken in this gentle encounter.” (p.40)
Across unique and complex cultural realties, may our shared love for Christ remind us to speak the truth (not generalizations, assumptions, or unsubstantiated threats), cast out fear, and extend dignity and respect to all our neighbours.
Showing posts with label peacemaking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label peacemaking. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Responding to the Tel Aviv shootings by Brian Pengelly
While I was enjoying a relaxing long weekend camping with friends in the Catskills an unidentified person walked into a LGBT support group in Tel Aviv Israel and opened fire with an M-16. Two people were killed and 15 others wounded. I didn’t get the news until this morning when I sat down to my laptop to catch up on email and blogs that I read on a regular basis.
As I read the news, a lot of different feelings warred inside me: anger, fear, sadness, and frustration all came up in a rush. In my head I began building an idea of who would do such a thing. I went over all the times I had been bullied or felt excluded and began building connections in my mind. I wondered why other Christians I knew hadn’t said anything about this and wondered what it meant about them.
Then I remembered another shooting. A little over ten years ago I was a young youth worker fresh out of Bible College when the Columbine shooting happened. The two shooters had worn black trench coats, and were misidentified by some as being goth.
At that time I had been working at building relationships with a number of teens who identified with the “goth” subculture. I remember these students telling me stories about how suddenly they were treated as potential killers by those around them. Many of them were called names, and one friend was even assaulted by others who saw them as “one of those freaks.” The irony of it all was that my friends were some of the gentlest people I had ever met. Many were pacifists who refused to touch weapons, and others were vegan because they could not even countenance violence against animals.
Horrific events like this seem to bring out the part of our human nature that seeks to classify the “other” and to draw away into the safety of “people like us”. We desperately seek for meaning in such events, and try to assure ourselves that something we can do we protect us from such things happening. And in the process these very human reactions can cause us to do a lot of things which can hurt innocents.
As of the time I am writing this we do not know who committed this crime and we do not know why. I would ask all people to be careful about making rash judgements without firm information. If more details do emerge we still need to be careful about the generalizations that we make from them. If the killer turns out to be motivated by hatred of gay people in general we must refrain from transferring that person’s crime onto others who share that person’s nationality, ethnicity, or religion. If it turns out that the shooter was gay that information should not be used by groups to try and prove anything about gay people in general either, or claim that gay relationships are more dangerous.
In the face of such an evil act I believe that the only response is for all of us: gay and straight, people of diverse religions or no religion, liberals and conservatives to commit to working hard to understand each other better. We must commit to defending and respecting each other. We must all speak out against violence whether in its obvious forms such as this shooting, or its more subtle forms that happen a thousand times every day.
But most of all we must resist the temptation to retreat further into “us vs them” thinking. We must not be ruled by fear. Because it is that very thing…the ability to think as another human being as “other” that allows the violence in the first place.
As I read the news, a lot of different feelings warred inside me: anger, fear, sadness, and frustration all came up in a rush. In my head I began building an idea of who would do such a thing. I went over all the times I had been bullied or felt excluded and began building connections in my mind. I wondered why other Christians I knew hadn’t said anything about this and wondered what it meant about them.
Then I remembered another shooting. A little over ten years ago I was a young youth worker fresh out of Bible College when the Columbine shooting happened. The two shooters had worn black trench coats, and were misidentified by some as being goth.
At that time I had been working at building relationships with a number of teens who identified with the “goth” subculture. I remember these students telling me stories about how suddenly they were treated as potential killers by those around them. Many of them were called names, and one friend was even assaulted by others who saw them as “one of those freaks.” The irony of it all was that my friends were some of the gentlest people I had ever met. Many were pacifists who refused to touch weapons, and others were vegan because they could not even countenance violence against animals.
Horrific events like this seem to bring out the part of our human nature that seeks to classify the “other” and to draw away into the safety of “people like us”. We desperately seek for meaning in such events, and try to assure ourselves that something we can do we protect us from such things happening. And in the process these very human reactions can cause us to do a lot of things which can hurt innocents.
As of the time I am writing this we do not know who committed this crime and we do not know why. I would ask all people to be careful about making rash judgements without firm information. If more details do emerge we still need to be careful about the generalizations that we make from them. If the killer turns out to be motivated by hatred of gay people in general we must refrain from transferring that person’s crime onto others who share that person’s nationality, ethnicity, or religion. If it turns out that the shooter was gay that information should not be used by groups to try and prove anything about gay people in general either, or claim that gay relationships are more dangerous.
In the face of such an evil act I believe that the only response is for all of us: gay and straight, people of diverse religions or no religion, liberals and conservatives to commit to working hard to understand each other better. We must commit to defending and respecting each other. We must all speak out against violence whether in its obvious forms such as this shooting, or its more subtle forms that happen a thousand times every day.
But most of all we must resist the temptation to retreat further into “us vs them” thinking. We must not be ruled by fear. Because it is that very thing…the ability to think as another human being as “other” that allows the violence in the first place.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Betrayal
I remember in my early days with New Direction how easy it was for me to feel threatened and defensive when I encountered people who appeared to have moved from a traditional understanding of Scripture’s boundaries for same-gender sexual behaviour towards a more inclusive and affirming stance. I remember feeling quite justified in my judgments of them – because afterall, I felt they had distorted the truth. I lamented people’s lack of certainty, attributing it to being either deceived by the enemy or selfish and fleshly. At times, I concluded that the emotion I was experiencing in these situations was righteous anger.
I felt that I needed to be very guarded, that I needed to be very careful to not be tricked or fooled into deceptive thinking.
And if this was true for me, someone who was not personally wrestling with the experience of same-gender attraction and seeking to be obedient and faithful in holding to Scripture’s teaching, I can only imagine how intense these feelings can be for someone who experiences unwanted same-gender attraction.
And if I, straight & married, could feel so betrayed when a public person moved from a place of certainty in a traditional position to a place that seemed questionable …. How much more might a same-gender attracted person feel betrayed?
With the movement towards seeking to embody a generous spaciousness, a place where any and all can come to engage on matters of spirituality and faith, we are aware of the potential of triggering feelings of betrayal. It is a weight and burden of responsibility that we feel.
For those who are side B and walking a personal journey of commitment, obedience and faithfulness to not engage in gay relationships or same-gender sexual behaviour, we would want to encourage you in the Lord. Our prayer is that your convictions are motivated by a profound sense of how deeply God loves you. We pray that you have worked through any fear or shame or anger or denial that might masquerade as godly motivation. And we pray that you will know God’s provision and sufficiency and delight as you choose to own your convictions from a place of contentment and joy.
Our decision to be engaged relationally with diverse people across this spectrum of faith and sexuality, has come from a deep desire to embody the love and grace that we see in the person of Jesus Christ. We believe that God is at work in all sorts of surprising places and we want to have eyes to see what he is already doing. And we believe that the Holy Spirit really is more than able to be the energy and motivation behind any transformation or growth in any of us.
Regardless of where anyone lands on the continuum of belief and practice in relation to our sexual identity, we all need to be challenged to navigate conversations where faith and sexuality intersect with a growing maturity. This kind of maturity refrains from lashing out and accusing others as a cover for our own insecurities, hurts, emptiness or anxiety. This kind of maturity recalls that engaging with the fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control) is just as important as a commitment to sexual purity and integrity. And this kind of maturity chooses to move from a victim, self-focused perspective to look beyond oneself to the ways we can serve, bless and encourage others.
We long to embody this maturity and to see it develop in others – even as we groan with all of creation in the incomplete experience of this kind of wholeness this side of heaven. We all fall short. We all can play the victim from time to time. We all point the finger and blame others while hiding from our own fear and anxiety. We’re all selfish at times and have next to no desire to serve others. There are gaps between who we are and who we want to be.
But in the midst of this mess, let us find grace. Let’s be gracious with one another, giving one another the benefit of the doubt, expecting the best of each other….. for we are all on a journey.
Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.
I felt that I needed to be very guarded, that I needed to be very careful to not be tricked or fooled into deceptive thinking.
And if this was true for me, someone who was not personally wrestling with the experience of same-gender attraction and seeking to be obedient and faithful in holding to Scripture’s teaching, I can only imagine how intense these feelings can be for someone who experiences unwanted same-gender attraction.
And if I, straight & married, could feel so betrayed when a public person moved from a place of certainty in a traditional position to a place that seemed questionable …. How much more might a same-gender attracted person feel betrayed?
With the movement towards seeking to embody a generous spaciousness, a place where any and all can come to engage on matters of spirituality and faith, we are aware of the potential of triggering feelings of betrayal. It is a weight and burden of responsibility that we feel.
For those who are side B and walking a personal journey of commitment, obedience and faithfulness to not engage in gay relationships or same-gender sexual behaviour, we would want to encourage you in the Lord. Our prayer is that your convictions are motivated by a profound sense of how deeply God loves you. We pray that you have worked through any fear or shame or anger or denial that might masquerade as godly motivation. And we pray that you will know God’s provision and sufficiency and delight as you choose to own your convictions from a place of contentment and joy.
Our decision to be engaged relationally with diverse people across this spectrum of faith and sexuality, has come from a deep desire to embody the love and grace that we see in the person of Jesus Christ. We believe that God is at work in all sorts of surprising places and we want to have eyes to see what he is already doing. And we believe that the Holy Spirit really is more than able to be the energy and motivation behind any transformation or growth in any of us.
Regardless of where anyone lands on the continuum of belief and practice in relation to our sexual identity, we all need to be challenged to navigate conversations where faith and sexuality intersect with a growing maturity. This kind of maturity refrains from lashing out and accusing others as a cover for our own insecurities, hurts, emptiness or anxiety. This kind of maturity recalls that engaging with the fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control) is just as important as a commitment to sexual purity and integrity. And this kind of maturity chooses to move from a victim, self-focused perspective to look beyond oneself to the ways we can serve, bless and encourage others.
We long to embody this maturity and to see it develop in others – even as we groan with all of creation in the incomplete experience of this kind of wholeness this side of heaven. We all fall short. We all can play the victim from time to time. We all point the finger and blame others while hiding from our own fear and anxiety. We’re all selfish at times and have next to no desire to serve others. There are gaps between who we are and who we want to be.
But in the midst of this mess, let us find grace. Let’s be gracious with one another, giving one another the benefit of the doubt, expecting the best of each other….. for we are all on a journey.
Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.
Friday, April 24, 2009
"I am Disarmed"
I have come to deeply love the writings of Jean Vanier ..... and so when I spotted a copy of "Finding Peace" on a shelf at my friends, Mark and Karen, I asked to borrow it.
Vanier shares a poem that he translated from French written by Athenagoras, the ecumenical patriarch of Constantinople from 1948 - 1972. I was captivated by it:
Jean Vanier goes on to say, "To be a peacemaker means not to judge or condemn or speak badly of people, not to rejoice in any form of ill that may strike them. Peacemaking is holding people gently in prayer, wishing them to be well and free. Peacemaking is welcoming people who are weak and in need, maybe just with a smile, giving them support, offering them kindness and tenderness, and opening our hearts to them. It is welcoming those with whom we may have difficulty or whom we may not especially like, those who are ..... different than us. It is to approach people not from a pedestal, a position of power and certitude, in order to solve problems, but from a place of listening, understanding, humility, and love. When we relinquish power, we become more open to the compassion of God." (Finding Peace, Jean Vanier, p. 69)
Vanier speaks most intimately from the context of having opened his heart and home to those with a variety of disabilities. Yet this little book on "Finding Peace" speaks much to the heart of what it will cost us to truly 'bridge the gap'in the midst of enmity and polarization on the topic of homosexuality.
I feel renewed, energized, inspired and challenged to continue to seek to be a peace-maker.
For this I am grateful.
Vanier shares a poem that he translated from French written by Athenagoras, the ecumenical patriarch of Constantinople from 1948 - 1972. I was captivated by it:
I have waged this war against myself for many years.
It was terrible.
But now I am disarmed.
I am no longer frightened of anything
because love banishes fear.
I am disarmed of the need to be right
and to justify myself by disqualifying others.
I am no longer on the defensive
holding onto my riches.
I just want to welcome and to share.
I don't hold onto my ideas and projects.
If someone shows me something better -
No, I shouldn't say better but good -
I accept them without any regrets.
I no longer seek to compare.
What is good, true and real is always for me the best.
That is why I have no fear.
When we are disarmed and dispossessed of self
If we open our hearts to the God-Man
who makes all things new
then He takes away past hurts
and reveals a new time
where everything is possible.
Jean Vanier goes on to say, "To be a peacemaker means not to judge or condemn or speak badly of people, not to rejoice in any form of ill that may strike them. Peacemaking is holding people gently in prayer, wishing them to be well and free. Peacemaking is welcoming people who are weak and in need, maybe just with a smile, giving them support, offering them kindness and tenderness, and opening our hearts to them. It is welcoming those with whom we may have difficulty or whom we may not especially like, those who are ..... different than us. It is to approach people not from a pedestal, a position of power and certitude, in order to solve problems, but from a place of listening, understanding, humility, and love. When we relinquish power, we become more open to the compassion of God." (Finding Peace, Jean Vanier, p. 69)
Vanier speaks most intimately from the context of having opened his heart and home to those with a variety of disabilities. Yet this little book on "Finding Peace" speaks much to the heart of what it will cost us to truly 'bridge the gap'in the midst of enmity and polarization on the topic of homosexuality.
I feel renewed, energized, inspired and challenged to continue to seek to be a peace-maker.
For this I am grateful.
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