You know those days when you just feel stressed…. Overwhelmed….?
Today was one of those days.
I follow a lot of conversations on a daily basis. I read a lot and think a lot and pray a lot – in the midst of trying to get all my New Direction work done and keeping my household with a husband and three young children from complete and utter chaos, as well as serving as an elder in my neighbourhood fellowship. Life is busy.
And today I just couldn’t shut my brain off.
First off, I encountered a couple of sites that had picked up on my “Dealing with Conflict” post ….. and they both were harsh towards Exodus IMO ….. and harsh just isn’t my style ….. it made me sad (and for inexplicable reasons triggered my not-so-latent Calvinistic guilt complex).
Later I met with a gay friend. This individual is in ministry in a conservative evangelical denomination. I respect this person’s integrity, commitment to honour Christ while navigating many questions, their love for the church, and willingness to be gracious. This person has walked in obedience. And this friend has been dealing with crap! People, who should be mature followers of Jesus, well versed in the ways of grace, have made assumptions, gossiped, reacted out of their own anxiety and fear, and forgotten that the Body of Christ is a place for all who seek Jesus and that ministry leaders are human beings not just human-doings on the church payroll. And I just felt sad and frustrated and helpless. So I tried to just listen and encourage…..
Then I was pointed to a blog conversation by a someone who wanted me to jump in. And as I scanned the numerous comments I felt my heart sink. A particularly dominant voice seemed so caustic, so certain, so loud (well at least judging by the bold and CAPS) ….. and this voice would sign off saying, “with respect…..blah, blah, blah….” And I thought to myself, “Is that respect? Really? When it is quite clear that in your mind, your way is the only way?” And I just couldn’t face engaging a conversation with those who are so certain and so confrontational.
I got about 20 emails today from people who wanted something ….. and some were so cryptic I still don’t know what they’re actually asking of me. And saying ‘no’ is hard for me.
And I just want to move to a tropical island, sit in the sun and watch the waves roll in. (But I can’t because many of them are so anti-gay that they condone hatred and violence toward glbtq people)
So why do I share all this? Just to garner some sympathy? No. I'm not looking for sympathy. I want honesty and authenticity. This blog is about bridging the gap – and the truth is that it is complex and difficult and overwhelming. And it costs us.
It means we will grieve. It means we will be overwhelmed at times – and stressed out. And I, for one, want to be very realistic about that.
It will require that we continually go back to the source of all life – Jesus Christ. Not for the perfect answer, not for the resolution to all the tension and uncertainty, not for some triumphant declaration ….. no, we go to Jesus for life.
In Christ, we begin to breathe again. We lay our racing minds and flustered emotions and weary spirits before him …. and he scoops them up so tenderly in his nail-scarred hands. And he looks in our faces with such love, such understanding – knowing it all. And he leans toward us and whispers in our ear, “Child, I’m so proud of you. Keep going. Keep loving. Keep serving. Keep hoping.” And then he breathes on us and we fill our lungs with this beautiful fragrance of all that is right and true and alive….. and in those moments our spirits are revived.
Psalm 131
My heart is not proud, O LORD,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.
But I have stilled and quieted my soul;
like a weaned child with its mother,
like a weaned child is my soul within me.
O Israel, put your hope in the LORD
both now and forevermore.
Showing posts with label overwhelmed. Show all posts
Showing posts with label overwhelmed. Show all posts
Monday, May 4, 2009
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Synergy and Diversity
My family and I moved last week. We had decided to downsize. We wanted to free up income to be more generous in the lives of others. We wanted to simplify our lives. We wanted to be more intentional in community, in our neighbourhood. Seemed like a pretty good idea ….. but then our house didn’t sell. For four months. And the market went into the toilet. And we took possession of the townhouse we’d purchased. And instead of freeing up income, it felt like we were bleeding money paying for two houses. It was really, really stressful. And there were moments where I felt like I couldn’t stand the uncertainty of it all for one more minute.
Now we are in the midst of the normal chaos that accompanies moving – trying to get settled. And you’d think that I’d feel really relieved that our house finally sold and that we’ve finally moved …. But to be honest, I still sort of feel like I’m holding my breath, still feel a little stressed and ragged around the edges. And I’m still basically just focusing on putting one foot in front of the other. Step-by-step. Grateful to at least be moving forward.
Change is hard. Emerging out of a season of stress and challenge is tough.
So why am I sharing all of this on this particular blog? This blog isn’t about me afterall.
But it is about honesty. It is about transparency and vulnerability and engaging in transition and growth. These things are critical if we have any hope of bridging the gap to befriend those who differ from us.
Bridging the gap requires us to stay present in the uncertainty. It requires us to be willing to be uncomfortable. It demands that we open ourselves up to change - perhaps not theological change - but attitudinal change, relational change, engagement change.
Lately, I’ve been speaking about paradigmatic change - about the shift from an old paradigm through a period of early transition to late transition into a new paradigm.
Whether we like it or not, our context is changing. The old paradigm of Christian attitudes toward homosexuality was basically black and white: "gay people are an abomination and they are going to hell". As culture began to change and gay people began to share their stories, some began to make an early transition towards a new paradigm. And some began to suggest that gay people weren’t carte blanche an abomination – there was a differentiation between orientation and behaviour. Some said gay people weren’t an abomination – but they were disordered and could be easily cured. People in Christian circles talked about choice – with the assumption that same-gender attracted people could just choose to re-order their sexuality. Transition continued, more narratives emerged – including the stories of those who unsuccessfully tried to change their orientation – and some people began to say that orientation is not chosen and not easily changed. More stories emerged of gay Christians who believed that God invited them to express their sexuality in monogamous partnerships.
In the midst of all of this transition, there has been a lot of stress. And for some, a lot of uncertainty. In general, people do not deal with stress and uncertainty very well – so there has been a lot of fear and anger too.
And whether we like it or not, we find ourselves in the midst of a new paradigm. And we live in the reality of many diverse responses.
• Some people still believe gay people are an abomination and are going to hell. Thankfully most Christians cringe at this response.
• Some people continue to believe that homosexuality is like a disease and can be easily cured – though current research does not support this.
• Some people understand that same-gender attraction is a reality that some people will live with throughout their life. They believe Scripture does not endorse same-gender sexual intimacy. They recognize that while some people experience sufficient fluidity in their sexuality to be able to authentically enter heterosexual marriage, this is not the dominant experience. For the majority of same-gender attracted people they believe that celibacy is the only God-honouring option. They may question whether anyone who holds a more gay affirming perspective is really a Christian. And they may likely have a real problem acknowledging gay Christians who are in relationship with a same-gender partner.
• Some people see the reality of same-gender attraction in people’s lives, consider God’s concern that “it is not good for man to be alone”, and seek to support sga people in experiencing healthy intimacy through non-sexual covenantal friendships or intentional communal living.
• Some people encourage gay people to be chaste until marriage (where same-sex marriage is legal) and to find and commit to a life-long partner. Some are respectful and accepting of those who hold more conservative views – some less so.
In a time of transition, it has been suggested that there is a need for a synergy among diverse responses. In the culture wars of the last generation we have seen plenty of evidence of a lack of synergy in diversity. But increasingly the next generation is impatient with this lack of synergy. Not all young people are stereotypically liberal in their theology of sexual ethics – but many are unwilling to perpetuate a sense of enmity between diverse responses.
I recently interviewed Tony Campolo for this “Bridging the Gap” project. Tony said this, “There is a multiplicity of answers to the question, and in the world that we’re moving to, we’re going to have to face that reality. I spoke at a youth convention of a very significant denomination in the US. The convention of 5000 youth were meeting simultaneously to the adults going through evaluating the rules and regulations of the church. And they came out with a very strong statement towards gays and lesbians, saying they would never accept gay marriage. Word drifted over to this youth convention, which was right next door. And they put their own statement together saying that, “We are not going to make a strong statement on this. We are going to be open to a variety of answers, and we don’t like that you have come down so strong with one answer. And the last thing we want to say is it’s not that long of a time before all of you will be dead.” Young people are not thinking the same way as the older people are on this. And they are not necessarily liberal. They are very conservative in many circles, it’s just that young people have reached a point where they see something transcending above this issue, and it’s the love for Christ that transcends that issue.”
The question as we continue to move forward, perhaps simply able to focus on putting one foot in front of the other, is: How do we bridge the gap between those we disagree with? (Because let’s face it, the multiplicity of responses isn’t going to magically go away.)
A few (incomplete) thoughts:
• Let’s be honest – this can be hard. It can be stressful. It can make us anxious. Breathe in and breathe out. Put one foot in front of the other. Stay present in the uncertainty.
• All of the tension that can accompany this transition is worth it for the sake of our gay brothers and sisters. Honouring them is more important than our own comfort (regardless of where you land on the theological spectrum).
• In times of transition we need to be reminded to represent Jesus well. Some of the harsh, fearful, critical, demeaning comments that are directed at people with whom there is a disagreement do NOT reflect the character of Christ.
• We need to take the time to really hear people – and to hear people, we need to be in relationship with people. Without relationship it is far too easy to be reactively judgmental or stuck in the theoretical.
• Being in respectful, gracious relationship with people with whom we disagree honours Christ who continually called his followers to love their enemies.
• Being in relationship with people with whom we disagree affords the opportunity for us to grow and mature in the fruits of the Spirit.
• In the midst of such paradigmatic change we have the opportunity to be like Jesus, who chose to humble himself, empty himself, divest himself of the dominant, power position …. We, too, can choose to be the servant of another – including those with whom we may disagree.
And when all of this change brings moments where we feel like we just can’t stand the uncertainty of it all for one more minute, we have the opportunity to go to the foot of the cross, gaze into the face of Jesus, rest at his feet, listen for his voice, and be filled with his love, patience, strength, courage and grace to keep moving forward – one step at a time.
Now we are in the midst of the normal chaos that accompanies moving – trying to get settled. And you’d think that I’d feel really relieved that our house finally sold and that we’ve finally moved …. But to be honest, I still sort of feel like I’m holding my breath, still feel a little stressed and ragged around the edges. And I’m still basically just focusing on putting one foot in front of the other. Step-by-step. Grateful to at least be moving forward.
Change is hard. Emerging out of a season of stress and challenge is tough.
So why am I sharing all of this on this particular blog? This blog isn’t about me afterall.
But it is about honesty. It is about transparency and vulnerability and engaging in transition and growth. These things are critical if we have any hope of bridging the gap to befriend those who differ from us.
Bridging the gap requires us to stay present in the uncertainty. It requires us to be willing to be uncomfortable. It demands that we open ourselves up to change - perhaps not theological change - but attitudinal change, relational change, engagement change.
Lately, I’ve been speaking about paradigmatic change - about the shift from an old paradigm through a period of early transition to late transition into a new paradigm.
Whether we like it or not, our context is changing. The old paradigm of Christian attitudes toward homosexuality was basically black and white: "gay people are an abomination and they are going to hell". As culture began to change and gay people began to share their stories, some began to make an early transition towards a new paradigm. And some began to suggest that gay people weren’t carte blanche an abomination – there was a differentiation between orientation and behaviour. Some said gay people weren’t an abomination – but they were disordered and could be easily cured. People in Christian circles talked about choice – with the assumption that same-gender attracted people could just choose to re-order their sexuality. Transition continued, more narratives emerged – including the stories of those who unsuccessfully tried to change their orientation – and some people began to say that orientation is not chosen and not easily changed. More stories emerged of gay Christians who believed that God invited them to express their sexuality in monogamous partnerships.
In the midst of all of this transition, there has been a lot of stress. And for some, a lot of uncertainty. In general, people do not deal with stress and uncertainty very well – so there has been a lot of fear and anger too.
And whether we like it or not, we find ourselves in the midst of a new paradigm. And we live in the reality of many diverse responses.
• Some people still believe gay people are an abomination and are going to hell. Thankfully most Christians cringe at this response.
• Some people continue to believe that homosexuality is like a disease and can be easily cured – though current research does not support this.
• Some people understand that same-gender attraction is a reality that some people will live with throughout their life. They believe Scripture does not endorse same-gender sexual intimacy. They recognize that while some people experience sufficient fluidity in their sexuality to be able to authentically enter heterosexual marriage, this is not the dominant experience. For the majority of same-gender attracted people they believe that celibacy is the only God-honouring option. They may question whether anyone who holds a more gay affirming perspective is really a Christian. And they may likely have a real problem acknowledging gay Christians who are in relationship with a same-gender partner.
• Some people see the reality of same-gender attraction in people’s lives, consider God’s concern that “it is not good for man to be alone”, and seek to support sga people in experiencing healthy intimacy through non-sexual covenantal friendships or intentional communal living.
• Some people encourage gay people to be chaste until marriage (where same-sex marriage is legal) and to find and commit to a life-long partner. Some are respectful and accepting of those who hold more conservative views – some less so.
In a time of transition, it has been suggested that there is a need for a synergy among diverse responses. In the culture wars of the last generation we have seen plenty of evidence of a lack of synergy in diversity. But increasingly the next generation is impatient with this lack of synergy. Not all young people are stereotypically liberal in their theology of sexual ethics – but many are unwilling to perpetuate a sense of enmity between diverse responses.
I recently interviewed Tony Campolo for this “Bridging the Gap” project. Tony said this, “There is a multiplicity of answers to the question, and in the world that we’re moving to, we’re going to have to face that reality. I spoke at a youth convention of a very significant denomination in the US. The convention of 5000 youth were meeting simultaneously to the adults going through evaluating the rules and regulations of the church. And they came out with a very strong statement towards gays and lesbians, saying they would never accept gay marriage. Word drifted over to this youth convention, which was right next door. And they put their own statement together saying that, “We are not going to make a strong statement on this. We are going to be open to a variety of answers, and we don’t like that you have come down so strong with one answer. And the last thing we want to say is it’s not that long of a time before all of you will be dead.” Young people are not thinking the same way as the older people are on this. And they are not necessarily liberal. They are very conservative in many circles, it’s just that young people have reached a point where they see something transcending above this issue, and it’s the love for Christ that transcends that issue.”
The question as we continue to move forward, perhaps simply able to focus on putting one foot in front of the other, is: How do we bridge the gap between those we disagree with? (Because let’s face it, the multiplicity of responses isn’t going to magically go away.)
A few (incomplete) thoughts:
• Let’s be honest – this can be hard. It can be stressful. It can make us anxious. Breathe in and breathe out. Put one foot in front of the other. Stay present in the uncertainty.
• All of the tension that can accompany this transition is worth it for the sake of our gay brothers and sisters. Honouring them is more important than our own comfort (regardless of where you land on the theological spectrum).
• In times of transition we need to be reminded to represent Jesus well. Some of the harsh, fearful, critical, demeaning comments that are directed at people with whom there is a disagreement do NOT reflect the character of Christ.
• We need to take the time to really hear people – and to hear people, we need to be in relationship with people. Without relationship it is far too easy to be reactively judgmental or stuck in the theoretical.
• Being in respectful, gracious relationship with people with whom we disagree honours Christ who continually called his followers to love their enemies.
• Being in relationship with people with whom we disagree affords the opportunity for us to grow and mature in the fruits of the Spirit.
• In the midst of such paradigmatic change we have the opportunity to be like Jesus, who chose to humble himself, empty himself, divest himself of the dominant, power position …. We, too, can choose to be the servant of another – including those with whom we may disagree.
And when all of this change brings moments where we feel like we just can’t stand the uncertainty of it all for one more minute, we have the opportunity to go to the foot of the cross, gaze into the face of Jesus, rest at his feet, listen for his voice, and be filled with his love, patience, strength, courage and grace to keep moving forward – one step at a time.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Offering hope?
OK – buckle your seatbelts…. this is going to be as close to a rant as I get.
Something’s been bugging me. Sort of like a sliver under your fingernail that you just can’t get out. It had come to my attention that a colleague had told others that “New Direction doesn’t offer hope anymore.”
Now, I’m not looking for sympathy here …. but let’s face it, New Direction deals with a pretty controversial area of ministry. It isn’t easy at the best of times to build credibility and engage pastors and local churches in our work. So, when a ministry colleague, who well knows the challenges facing a ministry like ours, takes a pot-shot at our credibility by saying ‘we no longer offer hope’…. it’s frustrating.
I wondered why this colleague didn’t call me up and say, “Hey I’ve got some concerns about the kind of language I see you using on your website – can you clarify some things for me?” Why didn’t they check out their concerns before spreading a death-knell for credibility and trustworthiness?
So the other night I had the opportunity to have a conversation with this colleague. Turns out, yes, they were concerned that we weren’t offering hope anymore. Seems their big concern was with our distinctive that we are ‘discipleship-focused, not change driven’ – that we seemed to be saying that sexual orientation change wasn’t always possible.
Now I have a bit of a track record for being candid….ok upfront ….. ok downright blunt sometimes. I asked this person if they thought every same-gender attracted follower of Jesus would become fully heterosexual. They said no. But, they said, they saw heterosexuality as part of God’s plan of redemption for people. “Everyone is on a journey towards heterosexuality”, they said, “but some people only go a little way down that road.” So then I asked about the disconnect for same-gender attracted people who don’t experience any significant change in the direction or intensity of their attractions – those who “only go a little way down the road” ….. You see, my concern is that we not set people up for a striving, good-works based gospel. My concern is that we don’t set up a system where people constantly feel like they don’t measure up, that their faith must be deficient…. where they are perpetually vulnerable to a sense of shame and condemnation for simply continuing to be same-gender attracted. This colleague agreed, that wasn’t what they wanted either ….. Then I said, “We’re offering people Jesus Christ – at the centre of their life, identity and sexuality – and Jesus is the hope of the world – how can you say that we’re not offering hope – when we’re offering people Jesus??”
Paul says, “When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling.” (I Corinthians 2: 1-3)
In our wrestling for the blessing for same-gender attracted people, we are emerging in weakness and fear and with much trembling. There is a lot we don’t know about sexual orientation. We don’t really know what causes it, exactly how and what influences it, or how to consistently or permanently affect it. Even our trained counselors are humbled in the face of the complexities and seek to minister with gentleness and discernment. We’ve seen God do amazing things in people’s lives. But is the Christian life about the amazing things God does for us? Or is the Christian life about knowing God and participating with him in his mission to restore the world to right relationship with God?
By making heterosexuality part of God’s redemption plan…. I have to wonder if it isn’t just buying in to the consumer notion of Christianity. “Being a Christian is about getting what you want.”
I just heard the news about a precious little nephew born a few weeks back. Baby John has Down’s Syndrome. Is Down’s God’s best intention for humanity? Should we all now commit ourselves to praying and fasting that God will heal baby John of the reality of his condition? Will we limit John’s experience of faith in Jesus Christ because of his Down’s syndrome?
Before I find myself in a wasp’s nest of controversy, I am not suggesting a one-to-one comparison of Down’s with the experience of same-gender attraction. What I’m simply trying to do is raise some questions about how we go about shaping our theology of redemption.
When I was in seminary, I had an important conversation with my uncle – someone I respect who has been a pastor for many years. I was struggling with a number of doctrinal issues and he said, “Wendy, I’ve always felt that the church needed to focus much more on biblical theology than on systematic theology.”
Systematic theology says, “God’s best intention for human sexual intimacy is the covenant of marriage between husband and wife. Therefore, in God’s plan of restoration and redemption, he will restore heterosexuality to those who do not naturally experience it.” Never-mind that there are deeply devoted disciples of Jesus who have prayed much, experienced much counsel and ministry, and continue to walk day-by-day in the reality of experiencing same-gender attraction.
As for me and my team at New Direction, what we do know, without a shadow of a doubt, is that Jesus Christ is the light of the world. We know he loves all people and all of creation. We know that in him we are accepted by God. We know he offers us abundant life – but that he invites us to experience that through his upside-down economy of suffering, dying to self, taking up our cross and following him. We know that we experience redemption now – as we come to experience intimate relationship with God within the perfect relationship of Father, Son and Spirit.
I don’t think the experience of same-gender attraction is immutable. There seems to be sufficient evidence of the fluidity of sexuality for at least some people to prevent us from putting anyone’s sexuality in a box. But that certainly doesn’t mean everyone’s sexuality can and will change. (ok Karen K. I got sucked in ….. I did end up touching on this question on this blog :))
I’ve heard this very same colleague say that homosexuality is not a salvation issue ….it falls under the realm of sanctification (becoming more like Jesus). Yet, when we, in humbleness, take a step back from the issue of orientation change ….. we no longer offer hope??
Galatians 5:14-16: The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
“Lord, help me to keep my eyes fixed on you – the author and finisher of our faith. Help me to trust you to guard and protect New Direction as you keep leading us to risk and serve and love gay people. And keep my heart soft, open, gracious and forgiving – it’s much easier to just be pissed off. Make me like you.”
Something’s been bugging me. Sort of like a sliver under your fingernail that you just can’t get out. It had come to my attention that a colleague had told others that “New Direction doesn’t offer hope anymore.”
Now, I’m not looking for sympathy here …. but let’s face it, New Direction deals with a pretty controversial area of ministry. It isn’t easy at the best of times to build credibility and engage pastors and local churches in our work. So, when a ministry colleague, who well knows the challenges facing a ministry like ours, takes a pot-shot at our credibility by saying ‘we no longer offer hope’…. it’s frustrating.
I wondered why this colleague didn’t call me up and say, “Hey I’ve got some concerns about the kind of language I see you using on your website – can you clarify some things for me?” Why didn’t they check out their concerns before spreading a death-knell for credibility and trustworthiness?
So the other night I had the opportunity to have a conversation with this colleague. Turns out, yes, they were concerned that we weren’t offering hope anymore. Seems their big concern was with our distinctive that we are ‘discipleship-focused, not change driven’ – that we seemed to be saying that sexual orientation change wasn’t always possible.
Now I have a bit of a track record for being candid….ok upfront ….. ok downright blunt sometimes. I asked this person if they thought every same-gender attracted follower of Jesus would become fully heterosexual. They said no. But, they said, they saw heterosexuality as part of God’s plan of redemption for people. “Everyone is on a journey towards heterosexuality”, they said, “but some people only go a little way down that road.” So then I asked about the disconnect for same-gender attracted people who don’t experience any significant change in the direction or intensity of their attractions – those who “only go a little way down the road” ….. You see, my concern is that we not set people up for a striving, good-works based gospel. My concern is that we don’t set up a system where people constantly feel like they don’t measure up, that their faith must be deficient…. where they are perpetually vulnerable to a sense of shame and condemnation for simply continuing to be same-gender attracted. This colleague agreed, that wasn’t what they wanted either ….. Then I said, “We’re offering people Jesus Christ – at the centre of their life, identity and sexuality – and Jesus is the hope of the world – how can you say that we’re not offering hope – when we’re offering people Jesus??”
Paul says, “When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling.” (I Corinthians 2: 1-3)
In our wrestling for the blessing for same-gender attracted people, we are emerging in weakness and fear and with much trembling. There is a lot we don’t know about sexual orientation. We don’t really know what causes it, exactly how and what influences it, or how to consistently or permanently affect it. Even our trained counselors are humbled in the face of the complexities and seek to minister with gentleness and discernment. We’ve seen God do amazing things in people’s lives. But is the Christian life about the amazing things God does for us? Or is the Christian life about knowing God and participating with him in his mission to restore the world to right relationship with God?
By making heterosexuality part of God’s redemption plan…. I have to wonder if it isn’t just buying in to the consumer notion of Christianity. “Being a Christian is about getting what you want.”
I just heard the news about a precious little nephew born a few weeks back. Baby John has Down’s Syndrome. Is Down’s God’s best intention for humanity? Should we all now commit ourselves to praying and fasting that God will heal baby John of the reality of his condition? Will we limit John’s experience of faith in Jesus Christ because of his Down’s syndrome?
Before I find myself in a wasp’s nest of controversy, I am not suggesting a one-to-one comparison of Down’s with the experience of same-gender attraction. What I’m simply trying to do is raise some questions about how we go about shaping our theology of redemption.
When I was in seminary, I had an important conversation with my uncle – someone I respect who has been a pastor for many years. I was struggling with a number of doctrinal issues and he said, “Wendy, I’ve always felt that the church needed to focus much more on biblical theology than on systematic theology.”
Systematic theology says, “God’s best intention for human sexual intimacy is the covenant of marriage between husband and wife. Therefore, in God’s plan of restoration and redemption, he will restore heterosexuality to those who do not naturally experience it.” Never-mind that there are deeply devoted disciples of Jesus who have prayed much, experienced much counsel and ministry, and continue to walk day-by-day in the reality of experiencing same-gender attraction.
As for me and my team at New Direction, what we do know, without a shadow of a doubt, is that Jesus Christ is the light of the world. We know he loves all people and all of creation. We know that in him we are accepted by God. We know he offers us abundant life – but that he invites us to experience that through his upside-down economy of suffering, dying to self, taking up our cross and following him. We know that we experience redemption now – as we come to experience intimate relationship with God within the perfect relationship of Father, Son and Spirit.
I don’t think the experience of same-gender attraction is immutable. There seems to be sufficient evidence of the fluidity of sexuality for at least some people to prevent us from putting anyone’s sexuality in a box. But that certainly doesn’t mean everyone’s sexuality can and will change. (ok Karen K. I got sucked in ….. I did end up touching on this question on this blog :))
I’ve heard this very same colleague say that homosexuality is not a salvation issue ….it falls under the realm of sanctification (becoming more like Jesus). Yet, when we, in humbleness, take a step back from the issue of orientation change ….. we no longer offer hope??
Galatians 5:14-16: The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
“Lord, help me to keep my eyes fixed on you – the author and finisher of our faith. Help me to trust you to guard and protect New Direction as you keep leading us to risk and serve and love gay people. And keep my heart soft, open, gracious and forgiving – it’s much easier to just be pissed off. Make me like you.”
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Creating a safer place....
Yesterday I spent a full day equipping pastors and leaders. Our goal is to help leaders think through how their church can be a safer place for all "limpers". It's always a draining day - for the participants and for me. Change takes a lot of energy. Dealing with mindsets, assumptions and fear is hard work. One pastor yesterday said, "You're stretching us!" To which I replied, "I'm being stretched too."
We like to have nice neat answers. Truth is, mission and ministry are messy. Grace is messy. Relationships, if they're worth their salt, are messy. So when we offer these seminars we let people know right upfront that we're not going to spoonfeed them simple answers - but that we're going to invite them to wrestle with real life situations that require tremendous humility, discernment and love to engage.
Yesterday, I cried in the seminar. I didn't expect to. But as I was sharing stories of the same-gender attracted and gay people I've had the privilege of coming to know, I was just overwhelmed with emotion. After six years of serving with New Direction I am more convinced than ever that the church is impoverished by the absence or the hiding of our same-gender attracted brothers and sisters. Of course, this sense of impoverishment will only be more fully realized as Christ-followers engage in meaningful friendships with their gay neighbours.
So let me give a quick shout-out to the pastors and leaders from yesterday's seminar - your open-heartedness was an encouragement, your willingness to tackle challenging case studies admirable, and your readiness to be stretched a sign of hopefulness as, together, we seek to create a safer place within the Christian community.
-WG
We like to have nice neat answers. Truth is, mission and ministry are messy. Grace is messy. Relationships, if they're worth their salt, are messy. So when we offer these seminars we let people know right upfront that we're not going to spoonfeed them simple answers - but that we're going to invite them to wrestle with real life situations that require tremendous humility, discernment and love to engage.
Yesterday, I cried in the seminar. I didn't expect to. But as I was sharing stories of the same-gender attracted and gay people I've had the privilege of coming to know, I was just overwhelmed with emotion. After six years of serving with New Direction I am more convinced than ever that the church is impoverished by the absence or the hiding of our same-gender attracted brothers and sisters. Of course, this sense of impoverishment will only be more fully realized as Christ-followers engage in meaningful friendships with their gay neighbours.
So let me give a quick shout-out to the pastors and leaders from yesterday's seminar - your open-heartedness was an encouragement, your willingness to tackle challenging case studies admirable, and your readiness to be stretched a sign of hopefulness as, together, we seek to create a safer place within the Christian community.
-WG
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