I’ve been pondering this post for several days. I’m not a fast reaction writer … I like to let things percolate in my gut as well as my mind and heart. The thoughts and emotions that have been swirling around for the last number of days I have sought to offer up as a jumbled prayer that the Holy Spirit will make clear before the Father.
I have found myself grieving for the pain of my gay friends – and the many gay people who I don’t know personally – who have been so intimately affected by the various marriage propositions south of the border. I would hardly consider myself to be politically astute. And New Direction has taken a very intentional position to not be involved in political matters. So, I feel I may be skirting a bit of a fine line with this post.
But I have been thinking a lot about how caught up so many Christians seem to be in the empire …. And I’ve been considering the subversive way in which Jesus lived his life and taught his followers. He didn’t try to overtake the Roman government. He didn’t try to make his teachings the law of the land. His power was revealed in weakness and suffering and sacrifice. He chose to empty himself.
I’ve followed with a sad heart the perceptions and reactions of many gay people to the manner in which the various campaigns were executed by those who stood against gay marriage. The witness of those who name the name of Christ, where perception is reality, has been devastating….. twisting stories, power plays, harsh, ungracious …. seemingly oblivious to the fellow human beings their campaign would impact.
And now the protests through California and other States …. and the anti-religious sentiments being expressed….. understandably expressed.
And my heart breaks.
I don’t share the celebration of some within Christian circles. Though I believe that God’s best intention for marriage and sexual intimacy is the covenant between husband and wife, I also deeply believe that there are significant injustices being perpetrated against gay and lesbian people.
I look at the millions of dollars that have been spent on these recent campaigns and my heart returns to the documentary “JustUs” that my friends Meghan and Alex produced in Rwanda about the Millennium Development Goals ….. and my spirit is perplexed. And I find myself asking, “What is happening? How can this be consistent with the true religion of which the Apostle James speaks?”
I think of 14,000 couples in California alone ….. and the Christians who boldly and arrogantly assert that they will go after their marriage licenses …. and for the life of me I cannot see how that is consistent with the person and ministry of Jesus.
And so I have been lamenting these last few days. For those who celebrate somehow averting God’s judgment with the passing of these propositions …. I must ask, “What of the judgment that accompanies dehumanizing our fellow human beings? Of being a mill-stone around the neck of those who may have been seeking God?”
“What of the judgment of our pride and arrogance? Of the stench of our twisted sense of entitlement? Of our addiction to power and dominance?”
“What of the judgment of our capitulation to our fear? Of the fear that has driven out perfect love?”
Jean Vanier, in his book ‘Becoming Human’, writes, “The discovery of our common humanity, beneath our differences, seems for many to be dangerous. It not only means that we have to lose some of our power, privilege, and self-image, but also that we have to look at the shadow side in ourselves, the brokenness, and even the evil in our own hearts and culture; it implies moving into a certain insecurity.”
May Christ have mercy on us.
Monday, November 10, 2008
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9 comments:
My heart breaks, too. One of my dear friends has closed himself off from others including me because of this. He is truly in mourning. Like you, I view Jesus' actions to the people rather than the law of the land, and am sorrowful at the reaction of some Christians. What if we lived our lives as a constant prayer? What if we bowed down and became real, genuine, and accessible to our neighbors, children and spouses? Would we fear another perspective if we truly faithfully?
I looked up an old girlfriend online. She used to vote against gay people. Now she has taken the last name of her female life partner. They share a hyphenated name. I wonder how this has affected her.
As an ex gay, I am grieving. Not living the gay life did not mean denying someone the right to live his or hers, to flourish, fulfill, experience, be deliberate etc… as I am about my own life.
How can I make others see the value of choosing a life when they are told "No!"
I am not saying that being gay is a choice. I am saying that choosing to live differently is a choice. But it has to be a choice -not a default selection.
Mary
Thanks Mary. Your comment reminds me of a wise mentor who spent time with me when I first began serving with New Direction - Gerry Vandezande worked for justice for his entire vocation ... and he was so gracious with me as he stressed that the ministry of Jesus was never coercive - it was always invitational. It was something that seems so simple and so clear - yet something that so many in the Christian community seem to fail to take into consideration. I was grateful that God used Gerry to burn that into my heart in my earliest days in this work - because it has become a deep and abiding value in the manner in which I seek to engage.
Hi Wendy,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and sympathy for gay and lesbians couples. Unfortunately, it seems few conservative Christians share your sympathies or are willing to share them publically, so I do appreciate hearing your concern and believe your sincerity.
I know I've brought-up this topic with you before, but I continue to wonder why New Direction continues to affiliate itself with Exodus International. Exodus' leaders and some of its member ministries have been very politically outspoken -- especially concerning these anti-gay constitutonal amendments. It seems your efforts to remain politically neutral are undermined by your affiliation with such a controversial association. If I were a member of an association that claimed to represent me, I would certainly feel compelled to speak-out against political views that differed from my own.
In the menu of ex gay - there are few choices to seek help, comfort etc... when we are starved - even what is bitter tastes sweet. Exodus happens to be the umbrella resource for leading others to a ministry that deals with homosexuality.
Thankfully, through the "grapevine" pun intended - New Direction was made known to me. And hopefully, more will come in this direction (exactly just as it is named.) Some will come the way of Exodus, others through people such as you Norm! and me.
I don't like NARTH nor Exodus completely but there is value there. Hec, I don't even like everything at my own church - but I attend. There can be found good through Exodus - even if it is small.
Mary
Wendy, thanks back at chya'.
Wendy,
You are an incredible lady. Enough said.
great post Wendy... I think last i heard the number was 75 million dollars spent on prop-8... it's astounding how dehumanizing we've become
$75 million? groan. and that doesn't even include the millions spent in florida and arizona .... not to mention other places.
it staggers me.
Hi Wendy,
I'm glad that you've reconnected with me. I'm looking forward to reading more of what you've written here at btg and more about New Direction.
I'm gathering so far from these comments that it has some affiliation with Exodus but I'm looking forward to seeing how you are different from them. I identify as an ex-ex-gay and feel that ex-gay programs do more harm than good (just my opinion). It's unfortunate that it seems that Exodus and like-programs is the only alternative for my same-gender attracted brothers and sisters who prefer change. I respect their journey.
I believe that God is preparing a new space for them - not to be either ex-ex-gay or ex-gay. I'll blog more about that later. But I do believe that more and more of our Lord's servants are elevating the conversation beyond the politics of our differences. Let's stay in that conversation.
As for your post here, I found it refreshing to hear you transcend sympathy and extend empathy for many of us (particularly here in California) who feel second-class both in the empire as well as in the Kingdom.
Thank you for grieving with us!
Bless you!
Eric
Thanks Eric - I too look forward to ways we can engage in fragrant conversation!
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